My intention with this blog is to put some of my life journey into words. I believe I have done important things in my life before now, but I'm starting with the chapter of life I'm on...
The current chapter is really about making a dream tangible.
Believing I can do it.
Reaching out to others.
Sitting with the disbelief/insecurities/fears that arise.
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I have always loved dance. Just about as much as I've loved art. There was never time, funds, transportation etc. for dance classes as a kid. But, I have always loved dance. Dance is fun for me as well as expressive and spiritual.
In FOUR days... I'm driving to California to attend a dance program in Hollywood, for three months. In my mind, it's the craziest thing I have ever done. I'm doing this for myself. And my inner child. She is happy, and I am happy.
In preparation for this experience, I have learned a some things:
1. I can do whatever the fuck I want. When I think, "Oh no, I could never do that," I'm beginning to respond, "Why not? Do I want to do something like that? Great, now I will explore how to do it." We hold ourselves back in this world with our beliefs about what we can and cannot do.
2. I need others. I cannot do everything by myself. I am independent and strong, and I still need help. I need the help and support and love of all the wonderful people I have collected thus far in my life. I would NOT be making this trip if I had operated within a vacuum. Old friends, acquaintances, previous professors, new friends, family members... I am ASTOUNDED and feeling tremendous gratitude to all of these positive influences in my life. All of those who believed this was a kickass idea, even when I was still stuck on how "crazy" it was.
I'm learning things from this experience of preparation daily.
The dance program itself is a huge deal to me, of course.
But, preparing and being creative to make this whole thing into a reality... THAT is huge and important. Something like this does not fall into your lap. It's manifested with research, and networking, and introspection, and tears and doubt, then belief and amazement. That's why I am SO excited now. That's why I'm prepared to let this experience continue to open my heart and change my life.
This is where I'm at in the journey today.
Thanks for reading and following along <3
Good luck and I love you!
ReplyDeleteThat's right! You can do whatever the fuck you want! Some of it may take a lot of work. But if you want to, do it. I am so excited for you! I miss dancing with you. You helped me see the way of the dance and I will forever be grateful.
ReplyDeleteLove love love