Seeking...To Blossom

I love this little graphic.  I saw it a week or so ago, and saved it, knowing it would come in handy.  During the past week, I have been staring at the walls of the "tight bud" that I have been in.  

I was getting overwhelmed and worried about midterms, which are next week.  

Realizing the growth I have already witnessed in myself, but also fearing the growth that is to come in the second half of the program.  

Hanging out in the "ambiguity" or the "unknown" is never a comfortable space!  

Today, I made the graphic below to further illustrate where I'm at. 

So, in the summer, I had my little blue zone where all was known, but I was reaching for the edges, with a taste for adventure. 

In the beginning of the dance program, I dashed into the green zone where growth was felt, but I still had control.  It was "safe" to me.

  

This past week, I hopped the fence into Uncharted Territory.  I know I'm pushing my boundaries.  I'm challenging my belief system, letting myself accept the coveted (to me) identity of "dancer", I'm choosing to believe that I DO have the ability to achieve the movements, and I'm calling myself out on my excuses (which always have roots in fear).  

When I first got here, I had a naive sense of excitement for an adventure!  

But, it's not all bells and whistles, glitter and unicorns.  

The REAL adventure is letting my core be touched by the experience.  And that's not so much exciting as it is scary, and tear-filled.  

The surface looks glamorous, but living it is gritty.   It's making difficult choice after difficult choice to keep trying, and keep believing in myself, when I'd rather just reject myself and hide instead.

I have not made it into the purple zone**, but that's good; I'm not ready for it yet.  However, if I stay patient, gentle, and honest with myself throughout the current Uncharted Territory, I know I will be prepared someday.  

And then, you'll really have to watch out for the badassery I come up with!!! :D

**Note: the purple zone is encased in a dotted line, making it possible for INFINITE expansion!  But, I definitely won't think about THAT right now...

LOVELOVELOVE,

Shannon